My heart swells with joy when I see my husband is posting sunrise pictures on Facebook while he is supposed to be at work. I hope he doesn’t mind that I borrowed his picture for my blog post today.
One masterpiece fades softly into the background as another flows quietly and seamlessly forward erasing the darkness as bright colors begin spilling over the sky turning what was once a star covered canvas into a fiery sky of oranges and golds, beauty so captivating I have to stop and just watch in awe. Where morning dawns and evening fades I enter the place where joy is made.
The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders;
where morning dawns, where evening fades,
you call forth songs of joy. Psalm 65:8
As you go through your day today slow down and pay attention to all the beautiful gifts God surrounds you with. I think you will be amazed.
Have a wonderful day,
You, Lord, are my lamp; The Lord turns my darkness into light. 2 Samuel 22:29
I was standing outside my church when I took this picture. I did not realize until later that the cross on top of the church steeple was in the picture. :)
I am not sure why God chose to give me this miracle, it’s not my first actually its one of many. Was this all to show me what he can do? Or was it just a normal thing planned from the beginning?
Worry… Worry is a word I used to know really well. All this eye stuff has taught me worry is a waste of time. There is no need to worry. What will or will not happen, will happen, whether I worry or not. So why not just believe that God has it covered and be thankful for all he has done.. That is what I hope to remember to do from now on.
This almost 4 years of eye stuff has been quit an amazing a journey for me. Is it finally finished? ….Well… the macular hole is healed in my left eye yet I have some odd side affect is going on in my right eye now do to the Lucentis shot I had 3 years ago coupled with my arthritis. She said that it is causing me to have a red eyes sometimes that look as if I have broken blood vessels in my eye. I have to take a steroid drop for that now that may or may not cause glaucoma or cataracts. Am I worried?? NO. A few years ago when a doctor gave me medicine I would skip it for fear of the side affects. To me it is the strangest thing if I think about it really hard…. Me at peace about stuff that used to scare me to death….
I think as long as I am on this earth there will always be something going on. If not eyes it would be something else. All I know is we can chose to wallow in the problems or chose to rest in the peace of God. I think I will chose to rest in the peace.
God is really good. He took me the most messed up fraidy cat person and somehow managed to change that. It is really nice to have this peace.
Have a blessed evening,
Most of my life I have had panic attacks. When I have a panic attack most of the time they come out of nowhere and most of the time they seem to be about nothing. At times they can be so strong they cause me to lose a grip on the reality that I am having a fear about nothing. When a panic attack starts usually at first I will feel an overwhelming sense of doom, and then the fear will start to come in really fast eventually overwhelming me. Over the years I have learned how talk myself out of having a full blown panic attack. After Jesus came into my life they seemed to not be as severe anymore though I did still have them from time to time.
They came back pretty strong again when I woke up one morning almost 4 years ago with a bright glow in my eye due to a blood clot in my eye (story here). As I went through my eye issues over the next few years at first I spent a lot of the time in panic. Gradually over time God started really showing me how he was there with me during those times and eventually I noticed I did not have many panic attacks anymore and if I did they were very short lived.
Today I was driving my car and suddenly I noticed bright glow in my left eye…you know how when you look at the sun and then look away, how for several minutes you will see a glowing spot in your eyes?? What I saw looked like that. Because that glow is what I saw the morning I woke up with the blood clot in my eye now sometimes a glare off the sun or a light bulb will send me into panic. I know that sounds silly but that is how my mind works. So as I was driving down the road today I must have been looking at something that caused the glow to happen. The minute I noticed it panic started to grip hold of me. But suddenly the words “Jesus please take this” came out of my mouth and then I began to thank him for all he has done for me. Within a matter of second’s peace replaced the fear.
It took me a few minutes before I realized what had just happened. I remember a time I would go and cower in fear at the first inkling of panic with it eventually turning into a full blown panic attack. I realized today that I didn’t do that, I realized that somewhere along the line I have learned how to face my fear with strength in knowing God has it under control. Wow it was so cool to realize that I now take security in the fact that panic does not own me because I chose to let go of it.
Over the years I have found out that a lot of people don’t understand my panic attacks and to some people a fear of nothing seems silly. But to me the fear I feel in a panic attack is very real and is something way bigger than I can deal with. I now know that the fear was never mine to deal with in the first place.
When God created us he did not give us fear instead he gave us strength. He gave us the strength that can only come from him. All we have to do is call on him, trust in the fact that he is bigger than our fear. Once we believe and trust him we can relax and live in his peace.
Thank you for the peace that you just gave me. I know that if not for you sometimes panic would overtake me. Thank you for giving me security in knowing that when I call out your name you will grab onto my hand and lead me back to peace. I trust you and I know you are faithful. I know that nothing here on this earth can separate me from the peace that I have in you. When anxiety and panic sneak in and try to grip me I know where to turn to find peace. When I turn to you, your peace wafts over me, and takes away my fear. Thank you for loving me and surrounding me with you power.
Sometimes life hurts
No matter how good things are going sometimes things just happen to ruin a good day.
Things are going great then out of nowhere something or someone blindsides you.
Today I was having a great day and then out of nowhere something happened that just blew me right off my mountaintop.
Within a matter of a few minutes it seemed as if everything around me was spinning out of control and it just kept getting worse and worse. I tried to make it stop but it was out of my hands. One minute I was flying high and the next I was tumbling down the side of the mountain as the valley below seemed to open up and suck me in until I couldn’t breathe.
I needed air.
I had to get away from the situation.
I ran out of my house and got in my car and just drove….
I had no where to go but just kept driving, trying to catch my breath and figure out what had just happened. Every way I looked at the situation none of it made sense.
It just hurt.
I hurt so bad I wanted to just drive…
Drive away as far as I could go…
Drive and drive.
How could this happen?
I asked God why?
I told him I didn’t know what to do.
I asked him for help.
God I know you are here! Please show me you are here, show me you have this under control!
And then I saw it
You know it was not that long ago I would not have seen this as clearly as I saw it today. Less than a month ago God gave me a miracle, one that I will never forget. He gave me the gift of my perfect eyesight. Something I have not had for a long time. Something I would never have been thankful for until I lost part of it and received it back. In the midst of the storm God reminded me of that. He reminded me He is big and though things right now may seem out of control he still has everything under control.
As I write this I am back at home again. After seeing the rainbow light in the clouds I pulled over for a while and hung out with God as the sun set. I still feel sad about the bad stuff that happened today, but I do feel comforted by the fact that right in the middle of something so dark God’s light was still shining bright and I know that know matter how this all turns out I will be alright.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever. ~ Psalm 23:4-6
The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11
He will give you the strength and the peace you need today and every day.
Once again I awaken to the sound of raindrops on the roof…
Another rainy day…
Though I love a sunny day there is something peaceful about a rainy day.
Rainy days make me feel all warm and cozy inside.
I love the sound the rain makes as it hits the roof and then as it pours into the gutters eventually finding its way to the ground.
I love looking out the window and watching as the world around me becomes saturated eventually the ground becomes soaked so deep that the raindrops have nowhere else to go except to form small rivers running across the grass.
I love how it also seems to pick the fall colored leaves right off of the trees. Some are so heavy with moisture they stick to the ground while others drop on top of the streams of water to float softly away, like my thoughts today.
Thankfulness and contentment are my thoughts today.
Thank you God for rainy days.
For the rest of the posts in this series click here
Last night was a blessing that I almost missed because I was afraid….
Last night I was supposed to work the Compassion table at the Josh Wilson Carry Me Tour. When I first signed up to work at the concert it was scheduled to be held in Florissant Missouri. If you listen to the news you have probably heard of the rioting that has been going on in Ferguson which is in Florissant. For some reason the fact that the concert was in Ferguson hadn’t really crossed my mind yet… so that was not the reason I was afraid.
The reason I was afraid was because at the last minute they switched the concert to a place that is really far away from where I live and that I had never been to before. The concert was switched to Wentzville Missouri at the last minute because of the rioting going on in Ferguson the people in charge of the tour decided that it would be much safer in Wentzville. Wentzville Missouri is about an hour and 15 minutes away from my house and it would be really late when the concert was over. I was nervous about driving home so far in the dark by myself and to top matters off it was pouring down rain and I can not see well at night driving in the rain. So there I was faced at the last minute with going to somewhere I have never been before, in the dark and in the rain. About 4 hours before I was supposed to be there I decided I was not going to go. It just did not seem like a very smart thing to do.
After I made my decision that I was not going to the concert it still would not leave my mind. My common sense kept saying I should stay home where it was safe but no matter how much I tried to ignore it I I kept getting this nudge to go. I even prayed about it and I still heard go, but I kept saying, “no your just feeling that way because you just want to go and you also feel guilty for cancelling” and I still decided to stay home.
About 2 hours before the time I was scheduled to be there another of my advocate friends sent me a text message that asked if I had signed up to work that night. I told her yes I had signed up but that I could not go because of the rain and the dark and my not being able to see in it issues.
After her message no matter what I did I could not rest. Finally I was like okay I know the Holy Spirit is telling me to go. I then said, ‘OK God if you really want me to go I will go, but seriously this is crazy going out on a pouring down rainy night to a place I have never been in the dark! I threw myself together and got in my car and took off.
When I left my house it was still light outside but it was pouring down rain so hard I could barely see to drive in the daylight but I kept going and it kept getting darker from the rain clouds and raining harder and harder. But then about 30 miles into my drive I noticed the rain was letting up just a little bit. The man on the radio giving the weather forecast said it was supposed to keep raining all night. Against my own better judgement I still kept going. My brain said this is dumb by oddly I felt more at peace going than I did staying at home where it was ‘safe’.
About another 10 miles of driving and I drove out of the rain. Go figure… LOL! so I laughed and said to God, “Now if you can just make it not rain anymore tonight.” I will admit I said that sarcastically never actually believing that he would.
You guessed it….It was dry the rest of my trip there…
Once I got to the concert I met up with the rest of those who were helping and we set up our table of child sponsorship packets from Compassion International and talked to people who had questions about child sponsorship.
There were 3 music artists for this concert, Dan Bremnas, Citizen Way and headlining the tour was Josh Wilson. Not only did we work at the Compassion table but we were also able to hear and watch a lot of the concert.
This next part is kinda cool, funny and a little bit embarrassing all rolled into one. I am a HUGE HUGE Josh Wilson fan. His story and his songs hit close to home for me in so many ways. A lot of the time we don’t get to see the entertainment when we go to these events but I was soooo hoping I would get to at least catch a glimpse of some of Josh’s part of the concert. I am sure you can imagine I was really excited I would be able to do that. When we first got there to work we were met by Becca who was the organizer and our leader for the night. She was such a sweet girl with a southern accent and her personality was so contagious, she seemed to just radiate joy. I knew Josh Wilson’s wife’s name was Becca and it did not take me to long before I realized yep she was THE Becca, Josh’s wife. Oh goodness I was hanging out with Josh Wilsons wife (star struck) ;)
About halfway through the performance we do a packet pass with the audience. One of the music artists got on stage and told his story about his Compassion child. We had been told to stand at the top of the isles until we were called down to the front by the stage to pass packets. We had been told that some of the ‘guys’ would come out to help us when it was time to pass packets so I was standing in my isle and a young ‘guy” came up to the same isle as me with child packets in his hands. I started talking to him because we were sharing the same isle. We talked about nothing big, just chit chat about how we would split the isle, etc….
Eventually we were called to come down and stand in front of the stage, I was standing now in front of the stage with my new friend standing right beside me. The music Artist on the stage talked about what was involved in sponsoring a child and then he said “if you sponsor a child tonight you will also get a free CD from this man right here,” as he points to my new friend and he says, “Josh Wilson.” Thankfully no one could hear what was going on in my head… OH MY GOSH! I had hoped to maybe catch a glimpse of him singing but I had done even better! Though it was short lived I HAD JUST BEEN HANGING OUT WITH JOSH WILSON! lol cool! I can be such a ding dong at times why did I not know that it was him in the first place??. In my defense he did have on glasses which he did not wear on stage and it was dark in the room with bright blinding lights swooping around….at least that’s my story and I’m gonna stick to it :D
After the packet pass we went back to the table and I was thinking if someone had told me I was talking to Josh Wilson I would never have been able to speak to him.. I am so shy and I would have been star struck and tongue tied.
I got to thinking later about that…Wondering why do I act like that? When I did not know who he was he was just a normal guy just like I am a normal girl. Both of us were doing our job. Why in my mind did I put him up on a pedestal? I am so glad I did not know it was him when I talked to him because I really love that I got to meet him and see who he really was.
I think maybe there is a lesson in here somewhere… There is always a lesson, huh.
A lot happened last night; There was this one other thing that happened that I want to tell you about. When we first got there and were setting out child packets a packet of a little girl in a pink dress from Haiti jumped out at me. I just had to pick up her packet from the table and look at it. Her birthday just so happened to be July 2 which is my anniversary too. I kept thinking maybe I should sponsor her but then also at the same time that I should not. All night long every time someone would come to the table I would hope they picked her because for some reason I was really wanted her to have a sponsor but nobody took her. Right before the packet pass that I just told you about we were each given a stack of packets that we would hand out, with hers staying behind on the table.
As we were heading into the auditorium and I walked away from the table I felt the urge to grab her packet from the table and I did. I put her packet it on top my stack that I had in my hands knowing fully that she was the first one I would hand out, and she was.
I didn’t think anything else about her packet after that until right at the end of the night a lady came to the table to bring her payment for the child she was sponsoring and I noticed …she had HER! The little girl in the hot pink dress! The lady and her own little girl were so excited to sponsor her and she looked to be close in age as the little girl who was sponsoring her. I could feel God speaking in my heart right then and I knew at that moment that all of this had been planned out way before this night had ever even started.
The rest of the evening went really well. We had 38 children who now have new sponsors so that was pretty awesome!
After the concert I got in my car to go home and it was still NOT raining even though on the radio they kept saying that it was raining. Guess what?… I never saw so much as a sprinkle on my way home.
Do you see what happened here?? God had me covered. He wanted me to go and as always when God asks, he will work out the details. Something else… whenever God asks us to do something and we answer yes there is usually always a blessing somehow tied to it. I had a wonderful pile of blessings sprinkled throughout my night. Blessings I would have missed had I not gone. I am so glad I did :)
If you are interested in knowing more about child sponsorship through Compassion you can click HERE.
Thanks so much for reading today,
If you would like to read the rest of the posts in this series you can click the picture below
Have you ever had a friend that you can pretty much predict what they will say or do because you know them so well? The more you are around someone the more you get to know them and know who they truly are. The same goes for God, the more you spend time with him the more you will get to know him and know who he truly is.
Ask yourself today… What do I know about God? Who is God?
I don’t mean just what you have heard about him but how well do you personally know him? Do you know him from spending time in the Bible and spending time with Him or do you know only what other people have told you about Him?
If you want to be really good friends with someone you gotta take the time to get to know them personally. The same goes for God, he loves you always but if you take the time to get to know Him personally He will be the best friend you ever had.
Get to know him today,
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13
To read the rest of the posts in this series you can click here – 31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth
To read the rest of the posts in this series you can click here – 31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth
I took a trip through my Bible tonight and here are a few things I found along the way.
I hope you are as blessed by them as I am.
This post is part of the 31 day series ‘31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth“
To read the rest of the posts in the series click the picture below.